So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish you could order shots online.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
