just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
