The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
