ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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