like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
