Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
