i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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