So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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