i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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