My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
