Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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