OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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