The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
