thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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