all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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