Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
