I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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