Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever

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(937): View more from Ohio

Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.

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(540): View more from Virginia

The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.

(540): View more from Virginia

you also need to get my treadmill fixed.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.

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