How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
