He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
