Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He felt like a one man threesome
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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