i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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