so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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