Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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