I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
