Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
