Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
