I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
