Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
