Define "chronic" masturbator.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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