It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
