no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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