just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
