the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
