He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
