I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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