We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
