it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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