You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
