babies were throwing up all over the place
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
