is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
