If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
