I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
