Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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