The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
