You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
