he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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