Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
