We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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