96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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